ME/I
WE/US
THEY/OTHERS
We communicate and relate to each other via a common spoken language as well as non verbal sign or body language.
Individuals who wish to communicate with a larger group of people will often learn additional languages, and or the accepted sign language of their country as well as body language. Sometimes you learn more about your own language when you attempt a second or third one. Many languages are structured around gender and personal relationships hence the use in English of
ME-I
WE-US
THEY-OTHERS.
This is not an attempt to judge ones personality by how they speak but rather an attempt to assist in learning how to relate to different personality types. These types contain a certain amount of all three traits but usually have a predominance of one of the three that gives you a clue on how best to relate.
ME-I We all start in this group because all that we are aware of initially is am I hungry, do I need liquids or I don’t like a wet diaper. We train these giants (usually referred to as adults) around us on how to respond to our personal needs. If we yell hard enough usually one of the three things will happen. A drink, some food or a change of diaper takes place. Sometimes the service is very good and sometimes it is very slow.
As we grow in some families the instant attention continues much to our pleasure for we know we have trained these giants well while in other families the services are provided on a more structured basis and not just when we want it. This is a little disappointing but teaches us early that something or somebody else has to be considered also and we may just have to wait our turn. This often happens in larger families where the parents are trying to service the requirements of three or more dependents.
As we grow we discover there are smaller versions of the giants and they are also demanding to be serviced just like us. Now we have a challenge because on one hand we thought we were the only person that mattered and on the other these small giants look like they could be fun to play with. How am I going to relate to these new members of my universe do I accept that I may not always be first any more and have to learn to share the service providers. Big decisions and this new group are also teaching me that if I yell at them they just yell back, if I hit them they usually hit me back and if I bite them they do the same to me. Now this is different the big ones have let me get away with these traits but the smaller versions are different. Maybe it is easier to no longer yell, hit or bite if I don’t want pay back. Early lessons in having to take into account what others than myself might want to do or have happen. I much preferred to be the centre of the universe however I also want to be a part of what is happening. My first struggle with exchanging ME/I so that I can be a part of a WE/US. This transition to sharing evolves at different times with different people. We start to have a great friendship with one or more other young people. We exchange many things we learn from each other and we feel we will always be together. However every now and again the ME/I take over and puts strains on these new friendships and even ends them completely. Learning how to subdue your wants for a period to allow another to enjoy theirs is a difficult learning curve. Until you have learned this lesson it will almost impossible to have long term friendships.
Some people never get fully out of the ME/I period until they have reached a very mature age and at last accept they are not they are not the most important person in the roo, the house, the neighbourhood the country
The ME/I type as they mature are okay in small doses as they can be stimulating, entertaining, funny but just having the majority of conversations or exchanges based on them and their wants is very boring for most of us.
To recognise a ME/I personality that has not matured observe how many conversations they start with I and My and relate only to their opinions, their achievements, their goals and they rarely allow another speaker time to finish what they are saying before replacing them, with a story about themselves. These people are very poor listeners because while somebody else is speaking they are not listening only preparing their thoughts so that they can talk about themselves as soon as they can break back into the conversation.
Many of these people can make great celebrities as they want to be the centre of everything happening and will do almost anything to achieve this objective. They usually have problems getting to the next stage WE-US and that is why very few of these people can maintain a long term marriage or total commitment to another person. Just follow the biographies of film stars, top athletes and other Celebes. Long term relationships are the exception not the norm.
All you have to do to get on with these people is talk mainly about them.
WE-US Comes into focus for most people due to the chemicals racing around their bodies encouraging them to make the next generation. The selection of partners is not easy when physical attraction can override any other criteria that should be considered when selecting a long term partner. This explains why in many cultures and only a few hundred years ago in ours the parents made the decisions on behalf of their children. Now we have the absolute freedom to make as many mistakes as we feel inclined to and it is the children who many times suffer the consequences.
Many people still want to have the freedom of the ME-I stage even after entering into a full time relationship. Where would the gossip publications are without the ME-I group. This group tends to perform well in team sports and get as much pleasure out of their team winning as they would winning themselves in an individual sport. Many of these sports people form long lasting relationships including marriage. They are often more concerned about their partners happiness than their own but just as in the ME-I period where when you hit someone they hit back ( Kama what you give out will come back) so if you are nice to somebody they will be nice to you and you have created a win-win situation which is normally the basis of any long time relationship whether in your personal or business life. These people can be identified by the fact that they are great listeners to other people’s opinions and experiences and will rarely talk about themselves unless strongly pressed to do so.
This type respond to those they perceive as genuine and not artificial. They respond to modesty of achievement and loyalty to friends
THEY-OTHERS This group normally includes a high percentage of people who belong to services groups (like Rotary/Lions etc) charities and certain religious organisations. These people spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about and helping others. Our nation could not operate as it does without the contribution of these people. Others are drawn to the medical profession where they feel their lives can have an importance greater than just to themselves and immediate family. Many people move to this stage later in their life when they are coming to grips with their mortality and the fact that possessions are of little importance when health and longevity are their major challenges. Many are also grand parents and recognise that their progeny are their only immortality.
The qualities of this group are easily recognised because they are motivated by a strong desire to help others. They in turn relate to issues that are to the benefit of everybody not a selective few.
